Not reaching your full potential? It’s not because you’re not confident enough. If you know your business could be so much more if only you’d commit rather than dither, it’s your self belief that’s lacking, not your confidence.
Hold up Jacqui, aren’t self belief and confidence the same thing?
I’m glad you asked. Nope. Because you can have one without the other. Or both. Or neither
Business owners often confuse the two. They think they can’t do things because they’re “not confident enough” when what they actually need to strengthen is their self belief.
Self belief is about what you believe about your overall potential and capacity. Confidence is situational and is generally based on evidence. I know I can run a 5k because I’ve done it before. At a parkrun or race for life, I’d feel quite confident even though I haven’t done it for a while. At the start of the London Marathon? Not so much.
It’s an important distinction because people who are generally confident can still struggle to truly believe in their capacity to deliver on their dreams for their business. Clients often KNOW they are good at what they do.
They know that if the rug gets pulled from where they are now that they could do it again. But from here to all the way over ‘there’ (wherever ‘there’ is in their dreams) is the equivalent of me being stood on the marathon start line
It drives them crazy because they know that in theory they can do what they want but they are confronted with the reality that it ain’t happening. Confident people can show up and deliver day to day in their business.
But when you lack self belief you struggle to take the action needed to drive your business forward and start hitting those big, juicy financial goals. If I had to do a 5k again I’d know what to do and be able to get on and do it. Ask me to train for a marathon and I’d laugh in your face
How do I build my self belief?
The first stage of any work I do with clients on self belief is around identity. You’ve probably heard about limiting beliefs and how you need to eliminate / blast past them if you want to make progress. But what if there was an easier way? What if you understood that by consciously choosing an identity the beliefs and behaviours would flow through into action?
I’ve got an exercise I’ve done with clients before and I call it ‘superhero identities’. It can be really helpful to refer back to when a faffing attack happens because you can assume the superhero identity that will help you make the most progress, most quickly. You can read more about superhero identities and that exercise here
Muting your inner critic
Beyond that, the next stage tackles the inner critic. Mind monkeys. Most people recognise the internal chatter and the obvious ways they talk themselves down. The times when they feel more than normal self doubt, or beat themselves up about something they haven’t done perfectly. But the mind monkeys to really worry about are the ones you haven’t noticed yet.
They are staying quiet because you are playing small already and they don’t need to bother themselves getting radgety with you
There are 2 quick ways to find out which mind monkeys are living rent free in your brain and your business;
- Ask yourself where am I playing small?
- When I dig into that, what do I hear then from my inner critic?
When it comes to the chattery monkeys, try out the 3 Ns;
- Notice them (and the fact they are not necessarily right)
- Name them (you might well have more than one with different tones of voice)
- Be Nice to them (reassure them, understand they have your best interests at heart and are trying to keep you safe.
It’s easy to be frustrated. But like a kid, yelling at them doesn’t solve anything. They either shout louder, sulk or lay in wait plotting their next trick.
So, if your self belief has the tensile strength of a KitKat and your business is not where you want it to be then maybe you should take a look at the Non-Ruthless Ambition Programme. My Non-Ruthless ambition programme is designed for people like you. It’s there to take you from stuck to unstoppable in 12 transformational weeks.
I chose the name because having the desire and determination to achieve what matters to you is not ruthless, it’s admirable.
It’s not an easy option. It will need you to dig deep. But I’ll be shoulder to shoulder with you every step of the way. If you have fears and doubts that separate you from the ambition you’d like then click here for the details.